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A Letter to Single Ladies – Pt 2

Dear Single Ladies,
How are you doing today?
I hope you are doing very well? Good.
There is this topic I want to talk to you about and, it’s about what to do after a very painfully hard and painful heartbreak.
After that guy you loved with all heart your ghosted on you, refused to pick your calls, started posting other women on his status and tried to push the blame on you for being the one who made him leave.
Now, you’re in so much pain that you’ve even become suicidal, refusing to eat, thinking about resigning from work or refusing to learn, drinking your tears like water and sporting a painful headache.
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Maybe you’re thinking of going to his house again or telling his friends to beg him on your behalf one more time.
Maybe, you are thinking of buying another SIM card after he blocked all the ones you used to call him.
Maybe, you’ve created a new social media account in order to spy on him since he’s blocked your old one.
Maybe, you take your friend’s phone in order to see what he posts on his status since he’s restricted you from viewing them.
I’m sure you want him to know how you feel. To know how much you’re dying over him since he left you. You want him to see what you’ve reduced yourself to ever since he left.
Listen, my sister. I want you to learn this from me.
He finding out how much you miss him or how torn apart you feel now won’t do anything to him. Before he said it was over and walked away, in his mind he’d already walked away days, months or years ago. He just hadn’t left yet. Well, now he has.
If he hears how you’re feeling now, he’ll either pity you or find it funny but that’s it.
Most times, he’ll be elsewhere living his life with another woman whiles you’ll be silently killing yourself. As the months or years roll by, he’ll forget you, even your name but, you’ll be pushing your own self-destruct button and he wouldn’t know anything about it.
Maybe you’ll finally take the plunge and give in to the impulse of killing yourself. I’m sure you want him to regret leaving you and come to your funeral and cry over your body so that he’ll feel a tiny bit of the pain you’re feeling now.
Uh hello? Anybody in there? You’re here? Good. Read this.
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Should you die, he’ll most likely refuse to come to your funeral. Why should he come? You’re in his past and he’s moved on but, should he come, he’ll probably come with his new woman and ask her “how much do you think I should give to my ex’s family?” Then she will be the one to decide how much he should give. “Give them 50ghc.”
So you’ll die for a man and he’ll give your family 50ghc at your funeral? Without even shedding a tear? After walking by your corpse and shaking his head at such a waste?
Come on sister, is he really worth that?
Wait. When your parents gave birth to you, was his name and phone number tattooed on your forehead?
You mean to tell me that, your mother carried you in her womb for 9 months. That’s almost a year of aches and pains, probably spent 3 days in labour to birth you, spent sleepless nights taking care of you, paid your school fees from KG upwards through her sweat and toil in hopes of you becoming somebody important in future and you’ll kill yourself because of a guy? That’s how you want to repay her? Repay your dad? Hell naw.
Look. How about you do things this way?
Live. You read that right. I want you to live. Say it like a mantra each and every second of the day until it’ll sound like you’re shouting inside your own head.
Cry over losing him but move on by living. Finish school or work hard. Get an alternative source of income, buy a piece of land as an investment and slowly start building. Make sure you save alongside. If you are a single mother, going without luxury things in order to put food on the table, doesn’t mean you should let yourself go. Spend money on a few good clothes and shoes sometimes.
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Study free courses online to broaden your horizon. If you need new skills to learn, use Youtube or Facebook. There are so many free resources for you to learn from.
This is not the time for too many friends. You can be friends with someone online where you’ll tag each other under posts or tweets but that’s it. Physically, just one or two people with legit business ideas and who help you if not financially, but support you.
Then when you make enough money, take yourself to an expensive restaurant, buy the most expensive meal, eat and exhale deeply with contentment. Then after that, leave the waiter a tip of 50ghc and leave.
And oh, should your ex ever try to hook up because he’s realized you’ve moved on and looking fine, give him a pretty smile and walk away.
Hope I’ve encouraged somebody out there.

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Written by Abena Magis


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  1. Thanks dis what I want our ladies to be doing, thinking he will change its a lie ,he said he changed koraaa nu , it’s ur killing point he will torment u saaa, stay strong wen he says it’s ova

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