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Pros and Cons Of Co-Habiting Before Marriage.

The idea of living with someone you love and are crazy about can be exciting. Some people are okay with waiting until they are married to begin living together. Others just can’t wait and choose to go against the status quo. Everything has its pros and cons and choosing to co habit before marriage isn’t only filled with advantages. It comes with its own set of disadvantages. Read on to find out more.

Pros: 

It is filled with excitement and fun: Moving the relationship to another level such as co habiting is a bold step. Moving in to stay with your love can only fill you with warm fuzzy feelings and good thoughts. The days pass by easily and you can’t wait for a new day to pass so both of you can do almost everything together.

Pre wedding stress goes down: Planning a wedding can be stressful. There is a lot to take care of and it involves a lot of thinking, running around and checking up. If you live with your soon to be spouse, you get to de-stress together and calm each other down. You’ll probably be getting some soothing massage every night!

The relationship may be enriched through deepened intimacy: Since you are living together, the intimacy deepens. You are with them most of the time. You perform a lot of activities together such as laying the bed, cooking, cleaning, taking out the trash, eating, chatting and just relaxing.

Reduced expenditure: when living together, your cost of living goes down. From paying for rent, utilities, food, welfare and transportation costs. It helps you to save some of your money and also put your money to good use somewhere else.

Work through issues that could come up in the first year of marriage. Most marriages break up in the first year or two. Depending on how long you co habit before tying the knot, these issues that can break your marriage would come up for you both to resolve and find solutions to them before finally settling down.

You get to really see who they are and assess compatibility levels: You may feel free around your partner because you have been with them for a while but living with them and seeing them 24/7 before marriage brings to light all their flaws, petty and major. You also get to see first-hand what they are good at and how they handle situations life throws their way. You can then decide to go ahead with the marriage or not.

Cons:

Disapproval from family and friends and lost relationships with them: In this part of the world co habiting is not acceptable so you must be prepared to face the constant disapproval from family and friends. Possibly some might cut ties with you for good; in their heads if you can do something frowned upon, then who knows what else you are capable of?

Relationship may be on shaky ground without steady support: Disapproval from close loved ones may affect the couple negatively. Remember how it was when living with roommates in school. It wasn’t always fun but you worked your way through difficult situations. The same applies here. Without steady support from your loved ones, the relationship may disintegrate when bad times visit.

In case things don’t work out, jointly acquired assets have to be split painfully: Not all couples who co habit end up with a nice wedding and a happy ever after. Sometimes they break up or decide not to move ahead with the wedding. When there is a split, it becomes difficult to split because more often than not, you would have acquired some assets together and splitting them is a painful affair.

Increased risk of premarital activities and it’s effects:  As some people say “body no be firewood” and you can’t fetch fire in your bosom and expect not to be burnt. Only a few couples who co habit or have co habited can beat their chest and say as for them their body was firewood and there was no firewood so they didn’t burn. It’s highly possible these couples will engage in pre-marital activities and end up with its associated effects; STI’s, pregnancies and the worst of all the persistent guilt of their actions.

Co habiting can weaken the bond when they do get married: After co habiting for a while and getting married, it’s not uncommon for couples to feel there is nothing new for them to experience. The initial spark they felt may get lost and can lead to the relationship becoming stale and boring.

Written by Esther

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