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Signs Of an Affair

We often call it cheating, but we can call it an affair too. We mostly define it as sleeping with someone who isn’t the partner we are married or committed to. Cheating or an affair is a relationship between two people of a sexual, romantic, emotional or cyber kind whereby one of the cheating couple (or both) is in a marriage relationship or a steady and committed relationship. Also, the person being cheated on has no idea of the said affair and neither have they consented to it.

Cheating in a relationship is a sign that things are generally not going on well. It could be a silent cry for help or for a fix in the relationship. Cheaters always have reasons and excuses for affairs from revenge, to seeking attention, sexual satisfaction, the lost thrill of a new relationship, character flaw or a weak moral code. Previously, it was seen to be a weakness of men but in recent times, women also cheat. There is even a debate at times of who cheats more.

If you look closely enough, you’ll realize that you can pick up on signals and signs of a cheating partner. There are some signs that are peculiar to each sex and there are signs that are general. Let us have a look at some general signs to look out for.

  • Changes in communication:

A cheating partner will begin to have fewer conversations with you. They won’t be moved to initiate conversations with you. When you bring up a topic for discussion, they will have less to say or even appear disinterested in what you have to say. Even when you ask about their day or ask how they are, they might appear annoyed or answer with something that signals they do not want to talk to you.

  • A change in appearance and hobbies:

Your partner might have a switch from their go-to dressing styles and it won’t appear as though they are doing it to impress you. In the beginning they told you they liked staying home on the weekends but now they are all about hitting the gym or keeping to a certain diet. If you begin to notice this sudden switch there’s a high chance they are seeing somebody new and want to impress them.

  • Lying and avoidance:

We are all imperfect beings. Lying is something that most people are guilty of. It shouldn’t be entertained especially in relationship setting but it still rears its head. When you partner tells you about something and it doesn’t add up, be alert. A cheating partner mostly is living a double life, juggling two or more partners at once and so it’s easy for them to lie a lot. When giving out information too, they tend to omit a lot of details,

  • Secretive with their phone and social media accounts:

Every relationship needs a certain level of trust to function. If you have nothing to hide from your significant other, you don’t mind leaving your electronic gadgets around them. Even if your social media accounts are open, you don’t mind leaving it around them. Should they snoop around incessantly or try to do something fishy with your gadgets, well you have every right to tell them off or keep it out of their reach. A partner who becomes extremely protective of their gadgets and social media account is hiding something, that something could be another partner.

  • Spend less time with you:

Due to the new person on the scene, your partner will have less time for you. All the time they’ll be giving you excuses as to why they can’t go on dates with you, the movie nights will be cancelled last minute and activities you both enjoyed doing together will come to a standstill.

  • For married couples, less sex . Trying new styles you both didn’t want at first:

This here is a sad and interesting one. When the lovemaking between you and your partner slows down or stops completely you should begin to wonder. If you should question the change and get no tangible reason, it could be because they are expending their precious energy somewhere therefore by the time they get to you, they are tired and unwilling to have a go at it with you.

Also if out of the blue your partner wants you to try something which you both have agreed is a no go area or something you both haven’t even thought of trying, their eyes must have been opened by someone else and now they want to open your eyes to it as well.

Should these signs keep popping up, what would you want to do when it is confirmed?

Written by Esther

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Mental Notes

I Don’t Blame Anyone For the Abuse I Went Through at the Hands of My Husband