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How to Get Your Partner to Be More Affectionate

From the onset of a relationship, couples tend to be more loving, affectionate and passionate. After a while, things slow down and they stop doing all those things that kept the relationship moving on smoothly. Affection is something that can experience a drop when couples get more comfortable around each other. If you are experiencing a drop in affection in your relationship, all hope is not lost.

You need to sit down and have a recollection of how your relationship started. In the beginning, was it only one party who was always being affectionate or it was both? Was showing affection frequent or it was sparse? Some of these questions would help you figure out what exactly needs to be done to get back the affection you are craving.

Start from yourself. When you want something and the other party isn’t getting the signs, you only need to set an example. Start by being affectionate daily. Gentle touches, words of affirmation or a simple kiss. A good and observant partner will notice and pick up.

Be understanding of the situation and don’t expect a change overnight. It will take a while for your partner to come around. It could also happen that they won’t even notice. Do not sulk and withdraw. Be patient with them and continue until they catch on.

Initiate an honest but respectful talk with them. For all you know, your partner isn’t aware of what is happening. They may be thinking they are doing something thoughtful but they’re leaving out something. Some people don’t come from affectionate environments and needs to be shown how. Let them know how being affectionate is important in a relationship. Work out how to incorporate this into your lives and give it time as well.

Identify your love language and theirs. Every person has a unique way of showing and giving love. This also includes how they will show affection and how they will expect affection from you. Some people show their affection by being playful. Others show their affection through their words. Find out what are your love languages and use them.

Compliment them when they do get affectionate.  As time goes on, you will both pick up on the affection. When one person is affectionate, the other must compliment them about it.  This lets them know they are doing a good job and they would in turn continue and try to do more as well.

Now that you know what to do, jot down these simple steps and begin practising them. Also, what other steps can you take towards showing and giving affection?

Want to share your story anonymously? Kindly send a mail to manokekame@gmail.com

Written by Esther

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